This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland.

Canadians:
       Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans:
       Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians:
       Negative.  You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans:
       This is the Captain of a US Navy ship.  I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians:
       No.  I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans:
       THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER U.S.S. LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET.  WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS.  I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians:
       This is a lighthouse.  Your call.