Here's a list of actual things kids said or wrote while in Sunday school (certificate of authenticity on file... somewhere):
- In the first book of the Bible, GUINESSIS, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off.
- Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
- Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
- Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears.
- Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
- Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
- Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
- Moses let the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where the made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
- The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
- Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
- The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
- The Fifth Commandment is to humor thy father and mother.
- The seventh Commandment is thou shall not admit adultery.
- Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
- Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
- The greatest miracle in Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
- David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
- Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
- Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
- He also explained "Man doth not live by sweat alone."
- The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
- The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
- One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was, by profession, a taximan.
- St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
- A Christian should have only one wife. This is call monotony.