Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords...

• "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."
• "I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off."
• "This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."
• "I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."
• "I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."
• "Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
• "Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk.  Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."
• "Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color and not fit to drink."
• "Would you please send a man to repair my downspout.  I am an old page pensioner and need it straight away."
• "When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess.  Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy."