- I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
- Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
- Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
- EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
- If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
- Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
- Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
- My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her... or something like that.
- Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
- Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
- If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
- Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
- If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
- You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
- The Earth Is Full - Go Home
- I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
- This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
- Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
- If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
- The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
- Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
- Honk If Anything Falls Off
- Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes
- He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
- I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
- You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
- I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
- It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
- I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
- If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over. (Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep)
- Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
- If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
- Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
- Boldly Going Nowhere
- Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
- Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch